Sunday, October 4, 2009

Last week (I think it was only last week) when I was washing my hands, I noticed a several small yellow squares leaned up against the washroom mirrors. Every square was embossed with the slogan: DontBeATOSSER
I was mildly amused by this and took a square for myself. I then proceeded to the recesses of the cafeteria to eat my lunch. At lunch I had soup, a peach, and 700ml of water because I had a headache from dehydration. After, when I was wandering around looking for a trashcan I came upon a much larger yellow square that was likewise decorated. The larger square was a table with two young women seated at it.
I walked into the general proximity of the table, being as they had no other students' attention at the time, they greeted me. I was given another yellow square with a handy British insult and treated to a speech on the importance of bottle recycling. I was also informed that that day only I could receive a free item of a type determined by how many bottles I gave them. Zero for a magnet, 3 for something I don't remember, 5 for a bag like tarp thing, and 10 for a t-shirt.
Without further ado I went out to my van to put my lunch kit away. While I was there I figured I would collect all of my bottles and bring them back as I am an utter slob and need to do this sort of thing whenever I am reminded.
I did not bother to count them and simply shoved the bottles in a plastic bag. I also took the full one from on my dash, in case I became thirsty at a later time.
When I walked back to the table, the two girls starting laughing; apparently they had not expected anybody to return so quickly with so much. One of them counted while I gave them the bottles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and...
So of course I did what any person who wants a tee shirt for the equivalent of less than a dollar: I gave the full bottle in my hand a long hard look, and then I drank it.
Directly after this incident, I went to my 50 minute math class. For the majority of my class all was well, I did my equations with little difficultly and leisurely checked them. However, this was not to last.
At about the 45th minute I began to experience mild pain in the area of my bladder, which I ignored as I only had 5 minutes to go; four minutes later this pain had increased by no small amount and had spread to the area of my kidneys. At the end of class, instead of hanging around for an extra 5-10 minutes as is my habit; I stood up quickly and jerkily made my way out.
The closest washroom to the math lab is only about 30 metres away: this bathroom was of course closed for renovations. The next closest bathroom that does not involve stairs is approximately 100 metres away, which is quite a waddle.
I still have no idea how to find a place casual enough for me to wear a shirt like that.