Thursday, April 1, 2010

One day a man walked into a bug store. He went straight to the counter and said to the clerk, “I need a bug, a big bug. I don’t care about color, lifespan, or genus; all I care about is weight and wingspan. I need a big bug.”

The clerk thought for a moment before he responded. “Well, I don’t know exactly how big you have in mind; maybe you could give me an example.”

“Well,” Said the man, “Do you have any big moths? Like a Great Owlet, or a Hercules. A Swallowtail butterfly perhaps?”

“Hmmm... no, we don’t have any moths that big and we don’t have any butterflies at all right now, very popular you see.”

“Alright, do you have any long bugs?” Asked the man, “A stick bug, or praying mantis, I’ll take a large grasshopper if pressed.”

“Unfortunately sir,” Apologized the clerk, “We have no such bugs at all, and the grasshoppers have been exceptionally weedy this year.”

By now the man had become quite irritate; after all, no self-respecting bug store was ever so terribly under-stocked. “Well what do you have then? Dragonflies, mayflies, horseflies, at the very least you must have spiders!”

“Now sir, spiders aren’t insects, they’re arachnids!” Gasped the clerk, clearly scandalized.

“I don’t care what they are!” Growled the man, “I don’t care at all, just get me the biggest bug you have!”

“Oh, in that case we might have just the thing,” The clerk then reached under the counter and pulled out a box with two weevils in it, one was about the size of a man’s thumb and the other was the size of a child’s.

“Finally! Alright, I’ll take that one,” The man pointed directly at the smaller bug.

“But sir,” Said the confused clerk, “I thought you wanted a big bug, that one isn’t big at all.”

The man scoffed, “Don’t you know you always chose the lesser of two weevils?”