Friday, June 25, 2010

Hal 9000,You're Trying to Seduce Me!

The robot apocalypse is upon us!

Well, not quite yet, but soon.

Although the robots are using a strategy I certainly never would have expected. In fact, I do believe humans are being trained to find non-human traits attractive!

Most of todays paragons of beauty have been in some way surgically altered: their lips inflated, their faces stretched, their noses shaped and thinned.  The pictures in magazines have been photoshopped as to not show a hint of human imperfection, be it blemish or bulk. Don't think it's only looks though; more and more popular songs are auto-tuned to some degree. Most of these songs just sound like the singer happened to be wearing a bucket for the entire recording session, but it's getting to the point that some of the new tween starlets could be replaced R2D2 and snare drum.

Of course this robotic plan has the notable flaw of how many humans find not-quite-human looking and acting things creepy and even terrifying such as zombies, realistic dolls, clowns, and the Burger King guy.

Keep watch dear reader! Perhaps you do not gaze adoringly at your laptop or PDA this day, but ready for a time when you watch the mannequins in the shop windows just a little too long.