Day 3

1:33

I woke up today to a back ache significantly worse than is has been for the last four days. I think I may have done something moderately serious to a muscle of my right shoulder, but I have not an idea what considering the most strenuous activity I generally participate in without stretching is a slow walk or power nap.

Today was the first day of lessons and I am ever so glad. I feel far more comfortable when I'm in a classroom than when I'm in a summer camp-like one. In any case I am feeling more confident now that I've had my first lesson and I know I understand what's being taught.

According to my results I'm in level four out of six (one being the easiest) but my instructor mentioned that I may want to try five, because I may not find four challenging. This part of the conversation was pretty amusing:

 

Le professeur: You might find this too easy because of your strong French base.

 

Jessie: I've only been studying French since September.

 

LP: Are you kidding?

 

J: ...no.

 

Either I should take this as a complement or it's a combination of my French last name and my tendency of mimicking accents.

The cafeteria signs amuse me; they give both the retail price of the items and the price for students in residence.

 

Bananas                                      0.45                          0.65

Chips/Candy                               1.25                          1.25

 

The administration strongly suggests you have a banana.

 

3:45

I started making a marionette today, (crafts being my favorite summer camp-like thing) and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was also late because I didn't know when it started, that was upsetting. Next we tour the city! On a bus...

 

6:13

Huge spider in my bedroom. I don't know spider in French but this guy has a legspan an inch long. I'm going to defenestrate him immediately.

 

8:21

My first time in a double-decker bus! We just took a tour of the city and around half the students are staying in the city and the remaining half are returning to the university, I'm with the latter. It was a nice trip and I got tea at the Empress. Note I did not have tea, I just purchased some as well as a tea bag squeezer.

There seems to be a French children’s song called "Je suis une pizza."

 

French Phrase of the Day

 

Pourquoi est la soupe une femme?

Why is soup a woman?

La Maison Francaise - Day 2

Day 2

8:13

First thing today I took a shower in the communal bathing room on my floor. That was pretty nice, though I can see why the curtain is weighted down. It is far too friendly and keeps trying to touch me.

Today I'm going to scope out the cafeteria and see if I can find some serviceable tea making implements, hot water at the very least.

Next we all take a placement test and are grouped according to the results.

12:48

The test today was about what I expected. The first two "easy" portions I completed masterfully, the third "advanced" level I might as well have spun a wheel because I was guessing. After that we were led away in groups to have oral interviews. I think I scored somewhere mid to low-intermediate, but we won't receive the score until tomorrow. I also spent a half hour lost looking for the cafeteria, disoriented and cranky because I hadn't eaten in hours, angry at everything from passing bystanders to stop signs and bunnies. I'm really, really not a nice person when I'm hungry.

2:01

My new student ID is now in the works and I'm outside the building waiting for it. I've been using the sun as a compass point because it's much easier to use a map when one knows which way is north. I'm in the north and the sun move eastward during the day, therefore the sun is to the southeast around mid-afternoon, very helpful. They say there will be a campus tour at 3:30, but at that point I think I will finally have lost myself enough times that I know where everything is.

I may simply look through the bookstore instead.

2:11

I have my new ID and I must say I look completely stoned, as I do in all my important documentation.

2:33

Why are there urinals in the women's washroom?

5:56

There is a karaoke bar in the student union.

10:52

Went to a campfire on the beach today, I think it was enjoyable; other than the prevailing wind pattern that blew smoke in my eyes and my non-existent love of bus rides that is. The social part was nice and the ocean was pretty.

 

The students of the program have a certain amount of points to use on food during their stay and it recommended that they use no more than 950 points everyday. I don't think this system will be a problem at least for me as in one day I've used a total of 430. Others may have more difficulty, as I know of at least one who used over 800 by 1:00.

 

French Phrase of the Day

 

Les lapins nous regardent. Toujours.

 

The rabbits watch us. Always.

La Maison Française Journal de Jessie -Day 1

July 4, 2010

 

8:52

Mom and dad just saw me through security, so now I'm on my own. So far

my original flight was canceled and the airport experienced a power 

outage, but i am rerouting through Edmonton and the power returned

shortly after. Both good omens and bad, though such things have no

control over what will happen or even what is likely to happen.

 

11:27

My first flight was overbooked by one passenger and slightly delayed,

no doubt the staff of the airport are experiencing a great deal of 

stress today. Due to the delay my arrival time was 11:00 instead of

10:20, as my next boarding time was 11:05 this was... distressing. I'm

not one for emoticons but I believe T_T is appropriate.

My current plane is a larger, more tech-heavy model in comparison with

the last. Every passenger has a personal screen, headphone Jack, USB

port, and a funny-looking electrical outlet which I think is both

North American/European plug compatible.

I fell asleep on the last flight though it only lasted approx. 55

minutes, this habit will no doubt land me In trouble one day. Perhaps

I'll take a bus to Calgary and end up in Costa Rica because of an ill-

timed nap.

 

3:45

I have arrived at the university of Victoria, it is bunny-covered as usual. I forgot my luggage at the airport, but I've already contacted someone about it and they are bringing it to the university.

So far I've discovered that Vancouver Island has an prodigious cougar population, a large portion of my more vocal classmates speak little or no French at all, and that is why the course councilors are talking slowly and pantomiming.

 

10:09

My first afternoon of French immersion and so far it's pretty nice. I took a nap earlier because I was cranky and a wee bit paranoid which isn't the best combination when I need to talk to people.

 

Well-meaning French councilor: Bonjour!

Jessie: Bonjour...

WMFC: Comment ça va?

J: *kidney punch*

WMFC: POURQUOOOI?!

J: Très bien, merci.

Bad Jessie.

All that and only one huge mistranslation! (Simon aime la délicatesse d'un bébé lapin, does not mean that Simon eats baby bunnies.)

 

 

French Phrase of the Day

 

Il y a une cuillère sur le toit du bâtiment.

There is a spoon on the roof of the building.

Hal 9000,You're Trying to Seduce Me!

The robot apocalypse is upon us!

Well, not quite yet, but soon.

Although the robots are using a strategy I certainly never would have expected. In fact, I do believe humans are being trained to find non-human traits attractive!

Most of todays paragons of beauty have been in some way surgically altered: their lips inflated, their faces stretched, their noses shaped and thinned.  The pictures in magazines have been photoshopped as to not show a hint of human imperfection, be it blemish or bulk. Don't think it's only looks though; more and more popular songs are auto-tuned to some degree. Most of these songs just sound like the singer happened to be wearing a bucket for the entire recording session, but it's getting to the point that some of the new tween starlets could be replaced R2D2 and snare drum.

Of course this robotic plan has the notable flaw of how many humans find not-quite-human looking and acting things creepy and even terrifying such as zombies, realistic dolls, clowns, and the Burger King guy.

Keep watch dear reader! Perhaps you do not gaze adoringly at your laptop or PDA this day, but ready for a time when you watch the mannequins in the shop windows just a little too long.

My Head Hurts / West Edmonton Mall

An invigorating day! Spent quite a bit of time in the water park with my family ('tis a family vacation after all.) First a wave hit me in the face, then a tube hit me in the face, next my head was squashed between two tubes one of which was in my face, then a small child fell off of his tube into my face, and finally a person, whom I could not determine the gender of, drove their tube over my head and drove the ground into my face.  Next all of us went down the tropical typhoon, *cough* toilet bowl *cough* and I hit the water face first as well. I have a bit of a headache now... in my face.

The West Edmonton mall is an interesting place, a huge mall with myriad stores, fountains, statues, a skating rink, a theme park, and a water park. The water park is a personal favorite, both because of my love of swimming and my general ambivalence towards shopping. My sister plans on one day bringing me with her on one of the rides in the amusement park, which I shall most likely submit to with little fuss, as I don't find them particularly daunting even if I'm not especially drawn to them.

I don't really like malls, there are too many people in them.

Jess

Cleaning Made Festive

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

A rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

A Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

Yogurt… probably

Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

 A bag of melted chocolates

Yogurt… probably

Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

One Can of strawberries

Bag of melted chocolates

Yogurt… probably

Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

Nine musical scores

Can of strawberries

Bag of melted chocolates

Yogurt… probably

Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

Ten rubber bands

Nine musical scores

Can of strawberries

Bag of melted chocolates

Yogurt… probably

Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

A Biography of Lincoln

Ten rubber bands

Nine musical scores

Can of strawberries

Bag of melted chocolates

Yogurt… probably

Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

Today I cleaned my van and what did I see?

Twelve pens and pencils

Biography of Lincoln

Ten rubber bands

Nine musical scores

Can of strawberries

Bag of melted chocolates

Yogurt… probably

Nanaimo bar!

Four pairs of shoes

Three textbooks

Two overcoats

And a rubber duck on the dash!

...I need help.

One day a man walked into a bug store. He went straight to the counter and said to the clerk, “I need a bug, a big bug. I don’t care about color, lifespan, or genus; all I care about is weight and wingspan. I need a big bug.”

The clerk thought for a moment before he responded. “Well, I don’t know exactly how big you have in mind; maybe you could give me an example.”

“Well,” Said the man, “Do you have any big moths? Like a Great Owlet, or a Hercules. A Swallowtail butterfly perhaps?”

“Hmmm... no, we don’t have any moths that big and we don’t have any butterflies at all right now, very popular you see.”

“Alright, do you have any long bugs?” Asked the man, “A stick bug, or praying mantis, I’ll take a large grasshopper if pressed.”

“Unfortunately sir,” Apologized the clerk, “We have no such bugs at all, and the grasshoppers have been exceptionally weedy this year.”

By now the man had become quite irritate; after all, no self-respecting bug store was ever so terribly under-stocked. “Well what do you have then? Dragonflies, mayflies, horseflies, at the very least you must have spiders!”

“Now sir, spiders aren’t insects, they’re arachnids!” Gasped the clerk, clearly scandalized.

“I don’t care what they are!” Growled the man, “I don’t care at all, just get me the biggest bug you have!”

“Oh, in that case we might have just the thing,” The clerk then reached under the counter and pulled out a box with two weevils in it, one was about the size of a man’s thumb and the other was the size of a child’s.

“Finally! Alright, I’ll take that one,” The man pointed directly at the smaller bug.

“But sir,” Said the confused clerk, “I thought you wanted a big bug, that one isn’t big at all.”

The man scoffed, “Don’t you know you always chose the lesser of two weevils?”